Wednesday, 15 March 2017

32 Thoughts everyone has when using Tinder…

Hey Lovely Face,

If you've ever used Tinder you may be well acquainted with the thoughts that run through your head as you less than enthusiastically swipe through old school friends and weirdo's in your local area, if not I may be able to enlighten you. Read on if you dare.

  1. So, it’s come to this.
  2. C’est la vie, let’s go man shopping.
  3. No
  4. No
  5. No
  6. Oh god no!
  7. Ooo puppy, but no.
  8. Seriously, is there something in the water round here?
  9. No
  10. Oh hello!
  11. Wait, doesn’t like cats? No.
  12. Okay, let’s change the search area. Maybe another 2km? Fuck it, let’s make it 37km.
  13. Am I willing to drive 37km? HA no. Meh, they’ll have to come to me.
  14. Topless pictures are not impressive.
  15. Eyes too close together.
  16. Which one are you?! I can’t be arsed to work this out, no.
  17. Oh here we go ***** he’s a lovely boy - mum. How original?!
  18. What would my mum say? Must like slipper socks and naps. About right.
  19. Oh great, another Dom with a leather laden photo looking for women to torture. NEXT!
  20. Nice smile, seems funny, nice cat! Hey baby!
  21. Please match, please match, please match!
  22. Screw you.
  23. Nope, nope, nope.
  24. No bio, ughh I hate that. I’ve never found mutes particularly attractive.
  25. People have weird faces.
  26. I’m hungry.
  27. Oooo someone super liked me! Oh, damn gurl super no.
  28. ‘NSA fun’ sounds like an insurance scheme.
  29. Casual fun however, sounds like a really slow water slide, where you’re holding a mojito.
  30. Picking my clothes up off a stranger's floor at 5am wrapped in the sheet of shame, sounds neither casual, nor fun.
  31. Practising satanist? Wonderful! Can’t wait for Christmas with you!
  32. Fuck this, I’m becoming celibate. If it’s good enough for the nuns.

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